A good therapist won’t be concerned if you ask questions and voice concerns!
Going to therapy is a big step for anyone. If you’ve reached out (or are thinking about it) or are in the process of working with a therapist then you’ve proved that you’re invested in your mental wellness and growth. You’re ready to do the work, get answers, and take an honest look at what is and is not working with your current set-up.
That’s all great stuff and truthfully, we want to offer up some words of affirmation for even being here. Researching the type of support you need and what might work best for you is an important step.

During this process though, you might have questions… or even some doubts. Will therapy work? Can therapy feel awkward? If so, how can I make it less awkward? What can I expect from a therapist? What will my first session be like?
These questions are both common and valid. You may preemptively feel like you’re not sure if you’ll connect with your therapist, if there will be awkward silences, if the questions will feel too personal, or you may be wondering about something as simple as not being sure what to talk about.
This awkwardness is a completely reasonable concern—especially ahead of first counselling sessions. If that’s on your mind, we have some thoughts to share about how to best prepare yourself to make therapy feel less awkward.
Ask questions in advance
Therapy becomes less intimidating when you understand what’s ahead. Knowing the general structure of a session, the types of treatment options available, and how the process works can ease some of the uncertainty. When you go into a session feeling informed, it can help you feel more in control and reduce the awkwardness of the unknown.
One way to gain clarity is to ask key questions ahead of time, whether through email, phone, or a consultation call. This initial contact not only provides valuable information but also gives you a sense of the therapist’s personality and approach. Many clients find that these pre-session interactions make the first appointment feel less like walking into the unknown and more like continuing a conversation with someone they’ve already “met.”
Here are some helpful questions to consider asking:
- What is your general approach to therapy?
- What does a typical session look like?
- Do you have experience with [specific concern]?
- What are your boundaries around communication?
- What are the potential treatment options for my situation?
When asking these questions, remember there’s no “wrong” way to bring them up. Therapists are used to fielding these kinds of inquiries, and asking them shows that you’re an active participant in your care. You can frame questions like:
- “I’m wondering what a typical session with you is like. Could you walk me through it?”
- “I’d like to understand how you approach [specific issue]. Can you tell me more about your experience with that?”
- “Do you use any particular techniques or strategies for [concern]?”
- “What’s the best way to communicate with you between sessions if something comes up?”
Asking these questions not only helps you feel more informed but also sets the tone for a collaborative relationship. When you go into the first session with a clearer idea of what to expect, you’ll likely feel more confident, less awkward, and ready to engage.
Decide topics that you’re ready to discuss
You’re the one in charge. This is your treatment and healing journey. If you have topics that you’re not willing to get into or that you’d like to talk about after you’ve built trust and connection with your therapist, that’s completely up to you. While most therapists will ask many questions to gather context about your story, traumas, or areas where you need support, you can also gently let them know where your comfortability lies.
This can sound like acknowledging that you’ve had a miscarriage but letting them know it’s something you’d rather get into down the road. Maybe you’ve had a complicated family history but aren’t emotionally ready to tackle that just yet. That can sound as easy as, “My family life has been complicated for me and I want to put that on the list for later when I’m more equipped to talk about it.”
Identify and state your goals
Why are you seeking therapy in the first place and what do you hope to achieve from your sessions? A good counsellor will ask that up front as part of your intake process. Some examples of common reasons why parents go to therapy include:
- processing birth trauma
- dealing with the stress and overwhelm of parenthood
- pregnancy or child loss
- identity loss
- relationship challenges
- navigating anything that feels like a struggle since becoming pregnant or having a child
Setting a therapeutic goal can be as simple as naming the things that are the most difficult right now, identifying the impact that has had (i.e. depression, anxiety, mood downturns), and naming how you’d like to feel (i.e. lighter, more joy, more connected to yourself, better able to handle bad days, etc.).
If you’re stuck, your therapist can help you do that. This makes therapy less awkward because you’ll both be on the same page in terms of vision and roadmap.
Research the type of therapist, support and approach you want
Truthfully, sometimes the reason why therapy can feel awkward is because of compatibility issues. If you and your therapist just aren’t a fit, it can feel awkward or like something is missing.
The good thing is that you don’t have to continue with a therapist if it just isn’t working. Switch it up, change pace, and find someone who you do feel comfortable with. This is your healing journey and luckily, therapy can be as tailored as you need it to be.
To prevent awkwardness or incompatibility issues in the first place, look into the options and see which therapist will be a good fit for you. Do you want sessions to feel structured, facts-based and clinical? Are you looking for someone with a soft and gentle approach? What kind of communication styles are helpful and which ones are triggering? These are the questions that you need to reflect on when choosing a therapist.
Voice your concerns!
Sometimes therapy can be awkward if you’re holding back because you don’t want to offend your therapist with your concerns. You might have doubts about whether or not therapy will work, or you’re concerned about judgement or your counsellor “getting it,” or that you won’t be able to articulate exactly what’s going through your mind. Those are common worries.
Seriously, as therapists, we have heard it all. Of course, for you this will feel like a big step because it’s not already part of your regular routine and because you might be talking about sensitive topics for the first time. But remember that we hear a range of problems all day, every day… for years. So if there’s something you’re concerned about, just say so! We promise, it’s not going to phase us.
Therapy feels awkward because… well, it kind of is!
Let’s be real—therapy can feel awkward at first because you’re talking to a complete stranger about deeply personal things. That’s not exactly how most of us are used to building relationships! It’s completely normal to feel unsure about what to say, worry about “oversharing,” or even wonder if you’re doing therapy right.
The good news? That awkwardness usually fades as you get more comfortable with your therapist and the process. In the meantime, here are a few things that might help:
- Acknowledge the awkwardness. Saying something like, “I don’t really know where to start,” or “This feels weird to talk about,” can actually break the tension. Therapists hear this all the time and can help guide you.
- Start small. You don’t have to spill your deepest emotions in session one. It’s okay to ease in and share what feels manageable.
- Remember that your therapist doesn’t expect perfection. You don’t have to say things in a “perfect” way or have a fully thought-out explanation. Therapy is a space to untangle things as they come.
- Use humour if that’s your style. If joking about the awkwardness makes you feel more comfortable, go for it! Therapists understand that humour can be a great coping tool.
- Give yourself permission to be a work in progress. The goal of therapy isn’t to have everything figured out—it’s to explore, reflect, and grow at your own pace.
Therapy can feel awkward at first, yes. The good thing is that there’s so much you can do upfront to get the right-fit therapist first of all, but also to communicate needs and expectations. In doing this, you make your goals and intentions known, you state triggers and concerns, and you communicate to your therapist specific ways how they can best help you.
If you’re in the early days of finding a therapist (or a new one!), get in touch! We’re skilled, considerate, and here to support all kinds of parenting experiences.
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