What’s a birth plan?

Think of it as a personalized guide detailing everything from where, how and with which support you’ll have in the room.

After finding out that you’re pregnant, it gets real very quickly. You have a matter of months before everything changes—whether it’s your first pregnancy or a subsequent one. 

From the moment when you find out a baby is on the way, it can feel like the clock is ticking. There’s so much to do and so much to prepare for both mentally and in more tangible ways. For this reason, pregnancy can actually be a breeding ground for anxiety and anxious thinking. Life as you know it is about to change, as will your identity. And sure, you might be so excited about your growing family, and full of gratitude for this new life growing inside you, but it can also feel overwhelming. There are so many things to organize, baby items to buy, important discussions to be had, and finances to plan. 

What we’ve noticed as perinatal mental health therapists is that one of the first things on the agenda is the birth plan. How will you give birth? Where? And with what support? These are some pretty key questions. 

Something we want to state upfront is that it’s best to think about a birth plan as a birth preference. Because anyone who has given birth will tell you that the plan never really goes as expected. This doesn’t mean it goes wrong, but there are often shifts or slight changes that you didn’t anticipate. 

Forming a birth plan 

Ok so what is a birth plan? How do you make one and what are the options? 

A birth plan is you guide relating to all of the logistics as well as personal preferences around labour and other things that go on during that process. Think of it as a personalized guide for expectant parents, outlining preferences for labour, delivery, and postpartum care. You’re thinking through all the important decisions in advance so make the day as smooth as possible. But remember to think of this as a guide, a list of preference, rather than a concrete plan. 

• Where this will take place.
• Who will be there to support you. 
• Whether you hope to give birth by c-section or vaginally.
• Birthing positions. 
• Which professionals (doula, midwife, lactation consultant, therapist) you’ll work with.
• Boundaries for those present during the delivery.  
• Whether you’re open to pain management option, and which ones.
• Mental strategies you could rely on in moments of difficulty. 
• Childcare for other children.
• Back-up options for the case where the plan doesn’t go as expected. 
• Postpartum care you want in the days and weeks following. 

These can all feel overwhelming at first (especially if it’s your first pregnancy or an unplanned one!) and that’s understandable. It’s important to educate yourself on the options out there and consider what feels aligned and what does not. 

The Perinatal Collective consists of a team of qualified therapists across Canada who help with everything from pregnancy anxiety, to birth plans, to early postpartum care and beyond. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the decisions, reach out to get some support. It can be really helpful to talk through all the different elements with professionals who truly get it. 

When creating a birth plan, reflect on how you envision the day going. What makes you most comfortable and what would be something you’d absolutely not want? Ideally, a lot of this information will be explained to you during appointments with medical professionals, prenatal classes, visits with your doula, or through your own research. Keep in mind when doing your research and asking questions that birth plan options will vary depending on what’s available in your specific location. 

We also want to acknowledge that in many instances, parents will be satisfied in asking their provider what they recommend, and then following that guidance. Alternatively, some parents feel strongly about the experience they want to have, and take more of an active role when thinking about birth. Both options are totally okay.  

Crafting a birth plan is incredibly personal. This is your labour and how you want to do it is your choice. Ask questions, advocate for yourself, voice concerns and boundaries, and get a second opinion when you need one! As you put together your birth plan, you should feel confident and empowered. 

Planning for unforeseen circumstances: The benefit of having a back-up plan (or a few)

Even the best made plans can fall through, and when it comes to labour and birth, this is actually really common. With labour, there are just so many unknowns. While you can plan for certain things, many factors with your delivery will come down to how things come together on the actual day. Plus, sometimes we think we want something, but then we when actually go through the experience, we change our minds, and this is absolutely okay! 

For example, there There can be physical complications or limitations that come up during your experience. You may have planned for something which is not available in your region or at the hospital or birthing center. Sometimes, a complication can lead to a last-minute change like having to do a C-section. Furthermore, certain births might be risky for a variety of reasons (baby position, for example) and that situation could prompt some last-minute changes. Due dates are also just a prediction and you might give birth much earlier than your expected date. Or, you could have a labour that’s much faster than expected and you may not have time to do everything as planned. 

So many variables, right? Just know that it’s totally normal for plans to change, and the more you focus on preferences, and think through multiple plans, the smoother the process will feel for you. It’s always important to know in advance that certain things might change or be out of your control. Yes, this might sound scary but knowledge is power. 

Check in with yourself in regards to what that mental preparation might look like. Some mothers and birthing parents find it helpful to know about all potential outcomes so that they feel mentally and emotionally ready for anything. Others might find that that triggers fear and anxiety. What level of research will be helpful for you? 

Here are some examples of ways a birth plan could go differently than expected: 

• Some kind of intervention has to occur during labour
• The type of birth you wanted isn’t safe or available
• You hoped for a home birth but it’s too high risk 
• The birth started at home but you had to go to the hospital part way through
• You didn’t physically or mentally handle birth the way you imagined you would
• The pain medication/management didn’t go as planned
• Others (medical professionals, partner, family) didn’t act as you wanted
• Your consent was violated or not obtained
• The room felt noisy or uncomfortable in some way
• Your baby had to go to the ICU
• You weren’t able to do skin-in-skin contact or hold your baby right away
• You didn’t connect with your baby right away as you thought you would

We understand that reading this list might feel heavy, and it’s possible you hadn’t considered some of these possibilities. Again, we believe it’s important that parents are informed, but not scared. Talk to your providers about any of your concerns! 

Need help creating your birth plan? Get support

Pregnancy is a time of both excitement and uncertainty, and it’s completely normal to feel a mix of emotions as you prepare for your baby’s arrival. Coming up with a birth plan that feels comfortable, aligned, and covers both you and your baby’s needs is such an important step in this process.

Crafting a birth plan (or birth preference) can be a helpful way to create a sense of control. You want to feel prepared, at-ease, and like you’ve done the legwork for your labour to go as smoothly as possible. 

At the same time, it’s also important to be flexible and open to changes that may arise. And to mentally prepare for what those might be. As you navigate these decisions, know that unbiased support is available. The Perinatal Collective is here to help you not only with your birth plan but also with the emotional and mental preparation needed for this life-changing event. Reach out to explore how we can support you.